In case you couldn't tell, I'm doing an excellent job of easing back into the whole blogging thing. However, if the last couple months have taught me anything, it's been the importance of confronting challenges and situations that may not seem too enticing initially.
I left to visit my best friend in London for two weeks in February and two days after I returned, hopped a plane to spend the month of March in New York. If you know me at all, you know how much I love to travel, especially to NYC. I had been looking forward to both of these trips with the greatest of expectations. My goal for London was to have a great time with my best friend which was most definitely accomplished. My goal for New York was to work hard spreading the word about Wine to Water, while also taking some personal time to confront a few things I've been extremely good at avoiding for the last year.
I landed in the city on March 2, a day short of the one year anniversary of losing my dad and this was not at all coincidental. I've become so good at running away from the reality of not having dad around that I've learned to schedule big trips during times that I know will be difficult. Impressive, right? I did, however, for this particular trip, have in my mind that I would confront and conquer this battle, among a few others that I have been so determined to ignore. Along with dealing with the loss of my dad, I also had in my mind that this trip would provide complete restoration and new perspective for me, which I soon found is a lot of pressure to put on one month.
I sat on the floor of the apartment I was staying in one rainy night, reading and listening to music when one of my favorite Avett Brothers songs came on. No song has ever called me out and convicted me in such an obvious and "to-the-point" manner before, it's called "The Weight of Lies." If you don't know it, below are the specific lyrics that might as well have screamed to me that night:
"Disappear from your home town
Go and find the people that you know
Show them all of your good parts
Beat down when the bad ones start to show"
"The weight of lies will bring you down
And follow you to every town 'cause
Nothing happens here that doesn't happen there
When you run make sure you run
To something and not away from 'cause
Lies don't need an aeroplane to chase you anywhere"
Thank you for hitting the nail on the head, A. Bros. I realized right then that by picking up and heading away from every person that has been kind enough to get me through the last year, I was actually running even farther from the problems I was trying to hard to resolve, and the distance wasn't going to make them any easier or go away for that matter. Long story short, I ended up coming home a week early. The fact of the matter is that, whether I'm in Boone, New York, London or Cambodia, I'm not going to be able to escape through distance the things that challenge, sadden, hurt or scare me. The greatest part about this lesson learned, is that I was able to run home to something and some people that know, understand and support me through the most difficult times and for some reason, still want to be around me and I know now I wouldn't want to go through these struggles any other way.
While, The Avett Brothers helped me to reach this minor epiphany, this is the song that got me through the month and back home to my family- blood and adopted.
"But you are not alone in this
And you are not alone in this
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand
Hold your hand..."