Thursday, April 29, 2010

fair fight

I'm having a bit of a dilemma right now. My heart is so incredibly heavy with sadness for something that has happened to a dear friend of mine. So heavy, in fact, that I feel a bit speechless, so I'll try to word this as best I can.

I'm almost at month two of the day we lost dad. It's hard to believe really, because it is still as fresh on my mind as the day it happened. That said, a dear and wonderful friend experienced a similar tragedy at the same time and has since had it happen again. Though I definitely can relate, I can't begin to understand how he is feeling. I do know that when you experience loss, it changes you, maybe a little, or maybe a lot. It's happened to me several times in 24 years and I can pinpoint the ways I've changed each time.

The thing that's made it bearable every single time though, are those that have helped me through it. My family has always been incredible in terms of providing support, but at an age where many of my friends are experiencing their first few years of true adulthood and independence, I have found that my friends who continue to surround me are the ones that are the most uplifting. The friends that realize you don't grieve someone in a couple days or even a couple months are the ones that are truly amazing. I know it is hard to understand certain things until they've happened to you, whether it be disease, loss, heartbreak, addiction, whatever. The amazing thing though, is to have the people around you that possibly don't understand the experience, but just know that it's important to be a friend and supporter. The ones that do this, not just the day and week after, but months and years after are the ones of true character and compassion. They understand that the memory of a loved one or a struggle you've faced never really goes away, no matter how long it's been.

So here's to the friends that God has placed in each of our lives to step in as our family away from home. Here's to the friends that get us, even when we're not ourselves. And here's to the friends that have inspired me to be the type of friend I want to be to others.

"So hold tight, this is not a fair fight..." -The Fray

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

my old friend...

Alright, I've been slacking big time on the blog. I kept making excuses for not writing, like the fact that I had nothing to write about, which may in fact, be true. However, now, I definitely have something to write about after this weekend.

One of my best friends in the entire world got married this weekend. My mom's best friend from high school, Merideth, had a son Drew. Merideth has always been my second mom and Drew has pretty much been the brother I never had. Drew and I grew up together, and when I say grew up together, I mean, we really grew up together. When we were little, Drew, my sister and I were all tossed in the bath tub together and he tattled on me for stuff I didn't do, like a brother would. I remember the day he got his driver's license and asking him to come to my high school homecoming because he was a better dancer than anyone at my school. Drew has meant the world to me my entire life, so when he called and told me he was thinking about proposing to his girlfriend, I jumped into protective mode.

For college, Drew went off to FSU and then moved to DC, so distance prevented me from meeting the girl I'd heard so much about. Then, while I was visiting Atlanta over Christmas two years ago, I finally met Kathy. Wow. I told her the night before their wedding that I could've searched the world over twice and found no one more fitting for Drew than her. The two of them compliment each other as perfectly as a married couple could. They are best friends, share the same values, and they make each other laugh. Did I mention that Kathy also happens to be my second cousin? Long story for another day, but now by marriage, I'm officially related to the guy I've always called my brother.

Drew and Kathy, I love the two of you so much and I couldn't be happier for you. Thank you so much for letting me in to share such a great weekend with you and thank you for sharing your friends! What an incredible and fun group!

"My old friend, I recall
The times we had hanging on my wall
I wouldn't trade them for gold
Cause they laugh and they cry me
Somehow sanctify me
They're woven in the stories I have told
And tell again..." -Tim McGraw

Thursday, April 1, 2010


The last couple weeks I've really been digging into the book of Job. Some might think my reading this book given my circumstances right now makes me a glutton for punishment, and to be honest, I thought so too for a little while. Job is essentially, a book about suffering. This guy loses everything; his family, health, possessions, wealth. You name it, it's gone. Job went from "having everything" in human understanding, to having absolutely nothing.

Now I definitely don't think I've lost everything in the last few weeks. I still miss my dad more every day and then when you add recent events on top of that, you could say that life has been a little frustrating. But then I get home at night and I read about this guy who has suffered some of the toughest circumstances, only to get down his knees and praise God for what he is doing in Job's life. Job took the time to step back and appreciate God's creation, each little thing in it and each tiny blessing that we tend to forget in the busyness of our days. Then, he finds a revelation in everything that most of us are way to distracted to recognize or understand. He realizes it is not all about him, it's about a much bigger plan.

Simple, but pretty intense, right? These tragic, life changing events that come our way effect us, yes. But their purpose may not always be directly related to us. I realize that now more than ever when I see how my dad's family, who has been somewhat broken and in conflict, has come back together to love and support one another. We've started to build relationships again. As hard as it is for me to say, this wouldn't have happened with dad still here. Dad had to be the one taken for these relationships to mend. Losing dad is also helping people that may have never been helped when he was alive, as we decided to receive donations to Wine to Water in lieu of flowers. Enough money has been donated at this point to build four wells in Cambodia. These wells will provide clean water to hundreds of people, thus, saving many of them from life threatening diseases.

Make no mistake, each thing that has come from the passing of dad was in no way coincidental, there was master plan and purpose behind it, and that is what I find comfort in.

"Is it having so little
And yet having it all..." Sugarland